


how truly rare and beautiful it is to exist

by karlurbvns



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Anxious Tony Stark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Irondad, M/M, Medication, Multi, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Potential depression, Protective Tony Stark, Separation Anxiety, Sleep Deprivation, anxiety medication, peter and tony don't get together in this one, this is purely just a platonic/ father/ dad relationship, tony is way too protective of his smol son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karlurbvns/pseuds/karlurbvns
Summary: When the time stone was used to reverse the damage that had been done, the world carried on as normal.Except for Peter Parker who didn't wake up.Distraught Tony ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

 

                                                                             

 

 

*****

 

The rest of the world carried on as though nothing had happened, and yet Tony Stark couldn’t bring himself to join them. He wished nothing more than to be a part of their wondrous oblivion, but the unconscious kid laying in front of him prevented it.

Swallowing the thick lump that had risen in his throat, Tony sat in the armchair, unmoving.

Peter had been his responsibility and yet he had failed the kid. It was his fault that Peter was like this. _It was all his fault._

 

The Time Stone had been used to bring back the vanished population. Everyone seemed to have picked up from where they left on. A father wrestled his screaming kid into his pram, a business woman in her pantsuit spoke loudly into her phone, whilst carrying the largest coffee she could manage, a dog barked loudly on the corner. Everything seemed to be normal. Except Peter. There was nothing normal about him.

One by one, people reappeared, dizzy and disorientated at first, but conscious. But when Tony found Peter, he lay there unmoving.

“Kid. Come on kid, wake up.”

But Peter hadn’t woken. He had been transferred to the Avengers Facility to be monitored. A week had passed, and no one had been able to figure out what had happened to him, and why he was still unconscious.

 

 

“Come on kid.” Tony said softly, sitting up in his armchair. Several trays of food lay untouched at his feet. Feeling warm, Tony slipped off the blanket that someone had placed around him. He couldn’t remember who it had been. Rubbing his aching brow, he leaned in toward Peter.

A heart rate monitor blipped steadily beside him and a tube fitted just beneath his nose pushed oxygen into his lungs. Peter’s frame looked even smaller against the thick blankets that swathed him. He looked peaceful and he wasn’t in any pain, yet this did little to deter Tony’s anxieties.

 _Why_ hadn’t Peter woken? How was it that everyone who vanished had come back seemingly untouched?

 

Tony heard footsteps draw closely behind him.

“Anything?” said a low husky voice. Tony turned from his position in the armchair he’d taken up residence in.

It was Steve.

 

“No.” Tony said, turning back to face Peter. “Nothing.”

“You’ve been here for three days now, you should go home and get some rest.” The Captain raised a brow, his glance finding the tray of uneaten food.

“I’m fine.” Tony said, knowing full well that he looked like absolute shit. His whole body ached, and each movement felt stiff and forced.

“No. You’re not fine.” Steve said firmly. “Go home, have a shower and something to eat. I know Pepper is anxious to see you.”

“I can’t leave him.” Tony said. “Not again.”

Steve placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Let me take over for a bit. If anything changes, you’ll be the first to know.”

Tony stood up, a little too quickly. Dizziness washed over him, and his legs ached from cramp.

“Fine. I’ll go.” Tony said reluctantly. As he left the room, he saw Steve take his spot in the armchair, the fading light just visible over the Captains hardened face.

 

 

*****

 

 

The elevator door opened to the Penthouse suite. Pepper leaned against the wall, her arms folded into the dressing gown she was wrapped in.

 “Nice to see you home.” She said before enveloping him in a hug. Letting his body rest against hers, he buried his face into her shoulder, making him wish he had come home sooner.

“Steve called, said you were on your way home. I’m surprised he managed to get you to leave.”

Tony eventually pulled away. “It had to happen eventually.” Tony said, almost bitterly. But he knew that Steve was right. He needed rest, he needed to be able to function. He was no good to anyone like this.

Placing a cool hand on his cheek, Pepper smiled up at him. “I know you don’t feel like eating right now. But there’s some food in the fridge that I can heat up for you. Just let me know, okay?”

 

 

Tony let the water run over his head and down his body. His hand against the wall keeping him upright, Tony closed his eyes.

Ever since that day.

_That day._

He hadn’t been able to get it out of his mind.

 

_”Mr Stark, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.”_

Peter’s last words rang through his mind over and over, never failing to haunt him whenever Tony found himself alone. Turning the water pressure up, he tried to drown the thoughts from his mind.

_“Mr Stark.”_

Tony could hear it in Peter’s voice.

_“I don’t feel so good.”_

Tony knew that Peter was going to die. And Peter knew that he was dying. His heightened senses told him half the universe was disappearing. And he was disappearing with it.

There had been nothing that Tony could do in that moment, except hold the kid. Hold him and make him comfortable, soothe the dying kid as best he could.

Hold him until had faded into nothing but dust, with traces of Peter’s ash staining his fingers.

 

Forcing his eyes back open, Tony turned off the water, his back burning from the heat. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel. With the back of his hand he wiped the mirror to clear some of the condensation.

His reflection gaunt and pallid, dark rings had set under his eyes. Tony winced as he dried his upper body with the towel. Turning to his side, he saw that his back and chest were a gleaming red from the burning hot water. Hastily pulling on a t-shirt and pants before Pepper could see, he left the bathroom.

Up until now, Tony had refused sleep. It was only as he climbed into bed that he realized how tired he was. Sleep pulled him under and he could just hear Pepper calling his name, but he was already gone. Sleep had consumed him.

 

It wasn’t until he heard screaming that he woke up. Blindly, Tony sat up.

“Tony!”

A light switched on, sending searing pain through his head. Clamping his hands to his head, he swallowed thick bile.

Pepper was staring at him, her expression laced with concern.

“What-what happened?” Tony asked, gulping down cool oxygen into his lungs.

“Tony, you were screaming.”

“S-sorry.” He stammered, still trying to regain control of his breathing.

Tracing circles with her hands on his back, Pepper didn’t say anything.

Shaking uncontrollably, an anger rose inside Tony. An anger that he couldn’t quite figure out. How was it that everyone else seemed okay. No one else was…suffering.

“That’s enough sleep for me.” Tony said, throwing back the covers and stepping out onto the hardwood floor.

“Tony.” Pepper said, pulling back the covers to invite him back. “Come back to bed.”

But Tony was already at the doorway. “I’ll just be up for just a while. Go back to sleep.”

 

*****

 

The dull black sky was beginning to lighten as Tony finished consuming his fourth cup of coffee. His side of the bed remained untouched from the previous night. Exhaling softly, he put down the tools he was holding, the suit on the table was in pieces. He switched off the desk lamp he had been working under and leaned back in the chair.

The sun seeped through the New York skyline as the city below him began to wake. He’d had enough of _sleeping_ for one night.

 

 

*****

 

 

The streets of New York city seemed quieter than usual. The vanished had been returned and the universe was once again occupied with it’s original population, and yet something seemed different.

Tony Stark made his way down the Upper West side, his stride slower than usual. he took his time to really notice everything, and everyone. No one spoke, the people seemed to move silently to their destinations. Everyone was oblivious to what had happened just over a week ago. None of the vanished seemed to be able to remember what had happened to them or were letting on that they did.

Hands in pockets, Tony started up the stone steps towards the building. The large glass windows opened automatically as he stepped into the entrance lobby. A water mist was coming off a fountain.

Supposedly it was to calm nerves and bring a peaceful ambience to the place.

_There’s nothing peaceful or calming about this goddamn place._

“Welcome back Mr Stark,” the receptionist said in a cool voice. He nodded at her, hands staying firmly in his pockets as he walked toward the lift.

 

 

It quickly became apparent to Tony that something was different. The cocoon of blankets Peter had been wrapped in now lay at the end of the bed. Peter’s bed was empty.

The room was occupied by someone else. Someone tall in a baseball cap.

“Rogers, what are you doing here?” Tony asked, unable to keep the panic out of his voice. “Where’s Peter!?”

Steve turned.

“Relax Tony, Bruce took him down to imaging a little while ago. He said not to disturb you, he’ll be back soon.”

“You said you’d tell me if anything happened-“

“Tony. Nothing has happened, he’s just having a couple of tests done.”

Anger rising, Tony forced his breathing to slow. “I should _be_ there with him. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him again.”

“He was in good hands, Tony.” Steve said, his own face devoid of sleep. He wore the same tired expression as Tony.

“Have you been here all night?”

Steve nodded. “I wouldn’t leave him alone.”

It dawned on Tony that he wasn’t the only man in the room to have lost the thing he cared about most in the world.

Tony turned to the Captain. “Has-has he said anything. About what it was like? Does he remember anything?”

Steve shook his head. “Bucky hasn’t said anything about what happened to him. None of them have. No one who vanished has spoken about what happened.”

“How’s he holding up?” Tony asked.

“Bucky’s okay.” Steve replied, raking a hand through his blond hair. “He seems different, like the rest of them. He just seems quiet, not that he was a big talker anyway. He went back to Wakanda yesterday to help with the cleanup.”

“Of course, I should have gone too- “Tony started, but Steve quickly waved him down.

“No one expects you to be anywhere but here at the moment.” Steve didn’t say it out loud, he didn’t have to, he knew much the kid meant to the mechanic. 

The two men sat in silence and waited.

 

 

“Tony. Steve. You’re here.”

Both men turned to see Bruce standing in the doorway. Tony felt his breathing hasten. Tony always had the unpleasant knack of being able to tell when someone was about to say something bad. 

“Where’s Peter?” Tony asked immediately, vacating the armchair. 

Bruce held up his hands in a calming gesture.

“He’s safe Tony, he’s still in imaging. But I do have some results, we have something conclusive this time.”

“What is it, what’s wrong with him?” Tony asked, moving toward Bruce.

Looking uncomfortable, Bruce shuffled backward. “Maybe you want to sit down, or go somewhere more private.”

“I'm not going anywhere” Tony said as the nausea set in.

Bruce took a moment to put on his thick rimmed glasses as he held Peter’s chart in his hands. “Okay, well, we’re still learning about the effects people sustained. Various people have suffered memory loss, migraines, panic attacks and increased anxiety. But everyone seems to be in a conscious state, apart from Peter.”

“Carry on.” Steve said.  

“But information at this stage is telling us the reason he hasn’t woken up is something to do with his heightened senses. Something about the reversal process has meant that Peter hasn’t mentally been brought back. His brain scans indicate that his mind is fully functioning, but up until now we weren't sure why he wasn't waking up the way everyone else did.”

“So what are you saying?” Tony asked, his head thumping painfully. 

“I’m saying that while Peter’s physical state has been returned, mentally he is still trapped.”

Steve’s mouth opened, his hand scrubbing his chin. Bruce looked almost…sad.

Tony’s body tensed further, his palms becoming slick with sweat “You mean to tell me that Peter’s mind is _trapped?_ “

Bruce hesitated before answering.

“Yes.” 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

                                                                              

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Strange.” Tony’s voice echoed loudly through the large entrance hall. “I know you’re here.”

He took off his obnoxiously brightly coloured glasses and placed them in his pocket, his eyes struggling to adjust to the darkness of the house.

The large staircase leading to the upper floors had several stairs missing as a giant hole plunged through the dark wood, as though something very large and heavy had fallen through.

Floorboards creaking under his feet, Tony moved slowly. The hairs on the back on his neck stood on end. It had been far too easy to get inside the house.

“Strange!” He said louder. “You’d better show your damn self or-”

“You sure you want to finish that sentence, Tony?”

Tracing the source of the voice, Tony followed it to the upper landing of the stairs. A slim figure draped in a red cloak seemed to float downward, over the hole in the stairs that the Hulk had left.

“Always have to be dramatic don’t you” Tony said, as Strange came to a halt in front of him.

“Pot calling the kettle black maybe?” Dr Strange said, eyebrows raised. “But I don’t think you came here to discuss theatrics.”

He’d almost forgotten why he had come, and then it came to him. As Tony opened his mouth to speak, Strange held up a hand.

“I already know,” he said. “I know you’re angry with me.”

“You have no idea how I feel.” Tony retorted. It took every effort to keep his voice steady. “what was it again, Strange? Fourteen million outcomes and there wasn’t an option where people didn’t come back.”

“Everyone did come back Tony.”

“You know full well- “

“Yes, yes I know.” Strange began. “I know about the boy. I know what happened to him. I know everything.”

Anger rising, Tony felt his body begin to tense. “If you know everything, then surely you know how to fix this.”

For the first time, Tony thought he could see something on Strange’s face. Was it concern, compassion? Maybe it was sadness. It hadn’t occurred to Tony that maybe, just maybe Strange didn’t have all the answers. Or even worse. Maybe he did have all the answers. But none of them involved Peter ever waking up.

“I don’t know how to fix this. I made the choice to act on saving everyone, bringing them back to life.” Strange said.

“You didn’t bring everyone back to life.” Tony said, his voice raising.

Strange paused before speaking. “I know.”

“You had better find a way to fix this Strange. You don’t want to make an enemy of me.”

Instead of balking at the threat from the billionaire, Strange just stared at Tony as though they were engaged in polite pleasantries.

“You have every right to be angry at me.” Strange said, “But let me ask you something, when did you become so attached to the boy?”

Recoiling, Tony balled his fists. “I’m not atta- “, voice trailing off, Tony couldn’t bring himself to finish a sentence that was a complete lie.

“Look.” Tony started again. “You _have_ to find a way to bring him back home. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep or do anything remotely normal since-since Titan.”

The words seemed to get lost as they passed through his lips. And tony was finding it hard to breathe again. The tingling had returned to his fingers and toes. And a jabbing pain erupted through his ribs and into his chest.

“Tony are you okay?”

Strange moved closer to Tony, holding out an arm as though he were about to catch Tony. Furious at the gesture, Tony backed away.

Chest constricting, he forced oxygen down into his lungs. “I’m fine!” he managed to choke out.

A strange sensation began in Tony’s navel as the room around them dissolved. Tony blinked, and they were sat in a lounge. Not the sort of dusty and dim lounge the Sanctem could provide. It was light and airy, with large windows overlooking the city.

Looking round wildly, Tony sat up in the chair he was now seated in.

“Where are-why’d you bring me here?”

“The Sanctem was making you nervous, I thought I’d bring you somewhere where you’d feel calmer.”

Feeling mildly nauseas, Tony shot back “it wasn’t the Sanctem making me irritated.” Though Tony did feel more at peace out of the dark and dimly lit house, he wasn’t about to admit that to Strange.

Pretending he hadn’t heard anything, Strange carried on his conversation. “I know you’re like a father figure to the kid.”

Tony almost laughed. “Pete doesn’t need a father figure, he has a perfectly capable guardian who is doing a fine job of raising the boy.”

Strange inched forward in his chair. “You know Tony, it wasn’t your fault what happened to him. He would have vanished whether he was on Titan or Earth.”

“I know that.” Tony bit back. “But if I’d stopped him from boarding the ship, he wouldn’t have had to die on that godawful planet, alone.”

“He wasn’t alone.” Strange said.

“I don’t count.”

“You count Tony.”

  

 

* * *

 

 

He was back in Peter's hospital room. Pepper had insisted he come home for tonight to get some proper sleep, but Tony had waved her down.

“I’m fine Pep.” He’d said. “I’ll just spend tonight with him and I’ll be back tomorrow. I promise.”

She’d been unconvinced, but she’d let him go, knowing that arguing with him wouldn’t help anything.Bruce however hadn't been so easy to dismiss. No sooner had Tony settled himself in his usual armchair by Peter’s bed, Bruce had trotted in, gabbling about Tony needing to take care of himself and go the fuck home.

“If you tell me something of use then maybe I’ll consider it.” Tony said. Bruce took the bargain and sat down.

“Well, as you know, Peter’s heightened responses acted in a way that most humans don’t. He was able to feel the Infinity Stones’ power, he knew what was happening before everyone else did.”

 Bruce laid a hand over Peter. “Our latest scans show that Peter’s brain has reacted in the way a normal human brain would if concussed. Though still functioning, his brain has shut down and won’t wake until he feels safe again.”

_Safe again._

Those words chilled Tony to the core. Peter was still unconscious because he didn’t feel safe. Because he’d known the danger before everyone else had. He’d known that the chaos was about to ensue on the universe before he’d perished along with everyone else.

Clearing his throat, Tony found the words he’d been trying to get out. “What can we do?”

Bruce looked from Peter to Tony. “I don’t know. I don’t know what we can do. We’ve tried everything we can think of Tony, but right now our technology is limited. We just have to keep trying.”

“You will, won’t you?”

“What, keep trying?” Bruce asked. “Yeah. Yeah I will.”

Nodding, Tony accepted the Doctors answer.

Bruce gestured to the door. “Will you go home and get some rest already? Your dark circles are coming threateningly close to being darker than mine.”

Tony shook his head. “I was never going to go home tonight, you should have known that.

“I know.” Bruce said, shrugging. “But it was worth a try.”

Bruce left Tony with Peter. It was after midnight when Tony found himself falling asleep. His body ached, and lack of sleep was starting to take a toll on him. A loud ringing in his ears forced his eyes shut and he soon found that he was dozing off.

Head jerking painfully, Tony awoke with a start. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Checking the time, Tony saw he’d only been out for a few minutes. As he stood up, Tony’s cushion fell to the floor. He moved closer to the kid, carefully tucking his blanket around his small frame. He looked as peaceful as ever, and Tony couldn’t help but wonder if the kid could hear anything around him.

Inching the chair closer to him, Tony took the kid’s hand, which barely covered half of his own hand.

“Look Pete.” Tony started, his voice husky and sleep was caught in his throat. “This is enough already. Everyone else came back already, so why haven’t you?”

Nothing.

“It’s safe to come out, everything is fine. Just please, Pete. Wake up for me.”

Tears threatening to appear on his face, Tony looked to the ceiling.

_Really?_

Was he _really_ about to cry over this kid?

Yes.

Holy shit.

Something moved in his hand.

Tony jerked his hand away. Did Peter just?

Waiting in anticipation, Tony held his breath.

“Pete? Can you hear me?”

Heart racing, throat closing in. Had he just imagined it? Was it just hopeful thinking? Peter seemed to lay as still as he had done.No, there it was again. Peter’s finger gave an unmistakable twitch.

“Oh my god, Pete?”

For the first time in weeks, Tony let himself smile.“Nurse!” Tony shouted into the darkened corridor. “Come quickly!”

Looking back to Pete, Tony saw the kid give another twitch.Then the alarms sounded.And Peter was shaking. The room spun around him dangerously as he tried to make sense of what was happening. A horde of medical personnel rushed into the room, all cramming around the kid, poking him with needles and starting lines. One placed an oxygen mask over his face.

“What’s happening?” Tony asked desperately. But no one answered him.

“Get him on his side!” one of the doctors yelled as they rolled the kid over. Mouth foaming, Pete continued to shake violently.

“Hey!” Tony shouted. “Can someone tell me- “

One of the nurses turned around. “Sir, Mr Stark. We’re going to have to ask you to wait outside.”

“There’s no way I’m going anywhere- “

Bruce rushed into the room, there was someone else with him, but Tony didn’t notice.

“Banner! What’s happening- “

But Bruce waved him down. “Tony, please. You need to let us do our job.”

Tony seemed to lose all sense of reality. Still spinning, Tony forced himself not to be sick. His balance seemed to desert him.

A burly arm wrapped around his shoulders, for which Tony was thankful. His legs didn’t seem to be working properly. It took Tony a moment to realise someone was guiding him down the corridor, encompassed in their vice like grip.

“Here, sit down.”

It was Steve.

Normally, Tony would have asked what Steve was doing here, but right now he didn’t really care. All he knew was that the kid was in trouble and not that much else mattered right now. Tony wasn’t’ sure how long he’d zoned out for, but Steve was saying his name.

“Tony? Tony.”

“Hmmh” was all he could manage.

Something strong gripped his hand.

“Tony, I need you to look at me.”

Forcing his glance to meet Steve’s, Tony obliged.

“Tony you need to breathe. You’re no good to the kid if you’re passed out on the floor.”

Something in his words struck a chord with Tony.

Steve was right, Tony knew he couldn’t crumble and melt down. Not right now, not here.

Forcing his breathing to stabilize, Tony inhaled slow breaths of oxygen into his lungs.

“There we go.” Steve said softly. “Are you okay?”

Steve had been the second person to ask him that today. Eventually Tony managed to choke out a semi coherent sentence. “How-how long have I been sitting here?”

“Twenty minutes. The nurse came out to check on you before, but you weren’t responding.”

Nodding, Tony felt the feeling coming back into his fingers and toes. He noticed a cup of coffee sitting on the seat beside him. Reaching out to it, Tony felt it’s warmth spread through his hand.

“That’s for you, if you want it.” Steve said. “Wasn’t sure how you took it so I got some sugars and creamers.”

Next to coffee sat a reasonable stash of various sachets.

“How is he?” Tony asked, some of the strength returning to his voice.

“He’s stable.”

Tony turned to see Bruce making his way toward him. “We’ve moved him up to the ICU, he had to be intubated.”

Tony felt the colour drain from his face. “What happened?”

“He had a seizure." His in his coat pockets, Bruce took a seat across from Tony, next to Steve. "He’s booked for a CT to make sure there was no extensive brain damage, but so long as he doesn’t have any more he should be okay.”

This didn’t seem to sit well with Tony. “What if he does have more? And why is he having seizures, he’s a _kid._ ”

“We don't know yet, but we're doing everything that we can."

"That clearly isn't enough is it." 

"Tony." Steve warned. 

"No it's okay, I agree with you." Bruce said, sending Tony an understanding look. "I've been thinking the same. I've spoken with the other doctors and we've agreed that it would be best for Peter if he moved."

"Moved!?" Tony yelped. "Moved to where?"

Bruce bit his lip. His glance to Steve told Tony that he was last to know what was going on. 

"Where are you moving him?" Tony repeated. 

"Wakanda."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

                                                                                  

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Can you fucking believe this?” Tony slammed the paper on the table, just short of Pepper’s face. “I just can’t believe they would do this!”

Scanning the contents of the front page, Pepper paused thoughtfully.

“Well?” Tony demanded, watching Pepper’s reaction.

“Well what, I don’t see anything wrong with- “but her voice fell short of her husband’s murderous face.

“You don’t see anything wrong?” Tony said.

The article in question was about Peter. The headline read "S _cientific mystery: Teenage Boy Left unconscious at the hand of Thanos”_

“He’s just a kid, the entire world is talking about him and he can’t even defend himself.”

“You can’t blame the people for being curious. People want to help- “

“Talking about him and writing stories isn’t helping!”

Pepper sighed, placing a hand on Tony’s arm. “I’m on your side, remember that. I agree with you, it’s not right but people will always want to know the truth.”

Scanning the rest of the article, Pepper pointed. “Oh look, poor May. The media have been camped outside her house for three days now, she must be absolutely drained. Tony we should do something.”

Sipping at his morning coffee, Tony looked at the photo of May walking inside her Queens house. Her hand covered her face as she carried a load of shopping up the media infested drive.

“Yeah you’re right.” Tony said. “We need to do something.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Before sunrise the next morning, Tony was already in his car, Queens set into his GPS. Despite the early morning traffic, Tony arrived in less than half an hour.

May was only too grateful when his unshaven face appeared at her door, a trail of journalists all looking suddenly perplexed as their cameras had all died.

Pocketing the small electronic device, Tony hugged May as she invited him in.

“It’s so good to see you.” May said, finally letting him go. She didn’t look nearly as unkempt as the media photos made her out to be. She was wearing a fresh face of makeup with her hair neatly parted in the middle. 

Offering him a seat, she turned to the kettle to boil.

“I’m sorry I haven’t come sooner May” Tony said.

Waving him down, May smiled. “You’re a busy man. I know how much Peter means to you and how much time you’ve spent with him while I’m at work. It means a lot.”

“It’s nothing, really.” Tony said, willing his cheeks not to turn red. May brought over the largest mug of coffee Tony had seen. She sat herself down in an armchair opposite him, tucking her legs underneath her.

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak.

“I guess I should say why I’m here” he started, unsure what to say next.

“You’re welcome here any time, Tony. But I assume you didn’t come here just to drink coffee and scare away the paparazzi that have taken residency on my lawn.”

Tony shook his head. “No, you’re right. But those asshats have something to do with it” Tony said, jerking his head toward the door.”

Holding her mug tightly, May waited for his next words. “I’ve been thinking about your current situation, with your visitors. And as you know, Peter is being transferred.”

Tony glanced at Pete’s guardian to gauge her reaction, but it was too hard to tell at this stage so he continued. “All expenses paid, I want you to be on that helicopter when Pete leaves on Sunday.”

May didn’t say a lot to begin with. “Tony, you know I want nothing more than to be at his side, but I have work, a job, bills to pay for. I can’t just up and leave.”

“I know.” Tony said. “All expenses paid for. You need to be there with him May. Be there with him when he wakes up.”

Gaze dropping, May sniffled. Tony couldn’t tell if she was crying, but he let her have her moment. When she finally looked up, all she said was “Thank you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

As soon as Tony walked through the hospital doors, he knew there was something wrong. Everything on the entrance floor seemed too quiet. Tony’s steps quickened as he made his way to the lift which took him to the upper floors.

Heart jolting, Tony stepped out of the lift. Passing the sign that read _ICU,_ his suspicions were further aroused. Doctors and nurses were fleeing around the floor, all calling out to one another. Tony could have sworn he heard the name “Peter” in the mix of hastened voices.

“Excuse me.” Tony said to a nurse. “Can you tell me what’s- “

But the nurse was already out of earshot. He made his way down the corridor to where Peter had been moved to, but the curtain was drawn. A burly looking nurse stopped him from entering through the glass doors.

“Did something happen to Peter?” Tony asked, but he was silently directed to the waiting area.

“Someone will come and find you Mr Stark” he said.

Tony was getting rather sick of being told to wait, but not wanting to make a fuss he obliged, and his feet found their way back to the waiting area.

It felt as though he were always here. Waiting. Waiting for news about Peter. When Bruce Banner approached him, Tony leapt to his feet. It was too difficult to discern whether it was good or bad. Bruce’s step seemed slower than usual, maybe because he was reluctant to tell Tony the outcome. Or perhaps he was just tired.

_You and me both pal._

“He’s alive.” Bruce said off the bat.

Well that was a good start at least.

Before Tony could question Bruce further, the doctor began to fill him in.

“He had another seizure, but this one was worse than the last.” Bruce inhaled a breath as he spoke. “We couldn’t get it under control, it lasted for several minutes which means Peter is in danger of brain damage.”

“How bad?”

Raking his hand through his hair, Bruce replied “We don’t know yet.”

“I’m getting rather sick of hearing those words.” Tony said.

“I’m getting sick of saying them.” Bruce sat down. Exhaling deeply, he shoved his hands into his coat pockets. “This latest seizure however has changed things. We don’t think it’s safe to move Peter to Wakanda at this point. We don’t want to do anything until he’s stabilized.”

“Can Wakanda provide for Peter any better than here?” Tony asked. “I mean this facility, it’s top of the line, right?”

“Yes. But Wakanda has technology that reaches far beyond our capabilities. We’ve tried everything here and nothing has worked yet.”

“There has to be something.” Tony said.

Bruce said nothing. Leaning forwards, he buried his head in his hands. Eyeing the doctor, Tony could see that he was utterly fucking exhausted. When he resurfaced, he leaned back into his seat, his legs outstretched in front of him.

“I know you’re not keen on the idea of him being moved out of the country, it’s all we have now. And we can’t even do that, not after this latest setback.”

“Maybe it’s for the best if he stays here.” Tony said, not wanting to get into an argument. “Can I see him now?”

Bruce nodded. “You’re not going to stay all night, are you? When was the last time you slept in your own bed Tony? In fact, when was the last time you _slept_?”

Unable to answer the question, Tony shrugged. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Tony.” Bruce said before Tony could leave. “I know it won’t make any difference, but you might not want to visit tonight, today has been a hard day for Peter. He doesn’t look well.”

 

Tony slipped behind the sliding glass doors to the ICU. It took him a moment to find Peter. When he did, it took everything for him not to vomit.

Eyes widening in horror, Tony stared at the boy. His skin was almost translucent. Peter’s thin arms were purple and bruised from the myriad of IV lines that crossed over his body. A thick tube than went down his throat was taped to his face. The only thing that made Peter look remotely alive was the soft rising and falling of his chest.

Tony’s armchair had been replaced by a metal stool. He still sat down, disregarding his own comfort. He didn’t care if he had to sit like this all night.

“God, Pete.” Tony said through choked sobs. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The anger was first aimed at the morning nurses doing their rounds. Tony’s voice could be echoing through the ICU corridor.

Bruce was in his office when he heard the shouting. Looking up from his morning coffee, he paused. It was Tony shouting, there could be no mistake. Popping his head out the door, he watched in amusement as several nurses scurried out of the ICU and down the far end of the corridor.

“What’s wrong- “he began, but they were already out of sight.

As Bruce neared the ICU, he could hear Tony bellowing at the remaining nurse. Sliding through the door, Bruce found the source of the yelling.

“Woah, woah woah what’s going on?”

The remaining nurse looked terrified, shaking behind her clipboard.

“Mr Stark was inquiring about- “

“-your incompetent staff are trying to tell me that visiting hours are over and that I have to leave.” Tony finished.

“Hannah you can go, I’ve got it from here” Bruce said apologetically to the nurse. She looked only too happy to be dismissed.

“They’re just doing their job.” Bruce said. “You need to let them do their job.”

“I know, I know I’m sorry.” Tony replied, some of his anger dissipating.

“You know you’re no good to Peter like this. You need to go home and get some rest, or you’ll be useless to him. The best way to help him right now is to take care of your damn self.”

Tony nodded. “You’re right. I’m going home now.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow suspiciously, he hadn’t expected it to be this easy. Tony had given in too quickly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

There was a light drizzle and a fog had settled over the city, hugging the tops of skyscrapers. Tony passed several propaganda posters as he made his way up town. Several of them advertised alien detectors and how aliens were the enemy of civilization. He ripped a one down which said that Thanos was a God and civilization should be grateful for what he tried to do.

“Fucking purple raisin.” Tony muttered under his breath he tossed the shredded paper into the bin.

 

No sooner had Tony reached home, he started straight back out the door.

“Oh no you don’t.” Pepper said, pulling Tony back inside. “You haven’t spent more than a few hours here in over two weeks. I’ve cooked a nice dinner and you can come inside and eat something.”

Tony knew it was pointless to resist. Pepper hadn’t been exaggerating when she said she’d cooked a nice dinner. The large glass dining table was groaning with all of Tony’s favorite dishes. She had even attempted to make an alien dish Tony had tried on another planet, though it looked as though something were still alive in it. He decided he’d save that one for another time.

“Tony that’s hardly a plateful.” She said enthusiastically, piling his plate further. The more Tony watched her, the slower Pepper seemed to move. It was sort of hypnotizing. Soon he found himself drifting to a place far away from the warmth and comfort of his home.

_It was cold and dark apart from a faint orange tinge. His fingers were covered in a silky grey ash. There was no one else with him._

_Tony was on Titan alone. He had no way off the planet and there was no one to help him. All he could do was sit there. His body numb, he didn’t move. His mind trying to process what had just happened._

_Peter was dead._

_They were all dead._

_His worst nightmare was now a reality…_

“Tony?”

“Mmh.”

Tony was brought back to the present, some of the cold leaving his body.

“Tony are you okay?” Pepper asked, mildly concerned.

“You’ve hardly touched your food.”

Sighing, Tony spooned a mouthful of food and tried to eat it. Whatever it was, it tasted like cardboard.

“I’m sorry Pepper, I can’t do it.” He said, glancing down at his plate still full of food.

Pepper smiled softly. “It’s okay Tony.”

For the first time today, Tony felt a sense of calm. He didn’t feel like shouting or yelling at anyone. For the first time today, he didn’t feel _angry._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The Avengers Facility training centre was on the ground floor. It had minimal windows and thick concrete walls giving the space a dark enclosed feeling.  His hands were starting to go numb. But he didn’t care. Tony continued to hit and punch the boxing bag as hard as he could.

He’d become completely unaware of his surroundings. Tony had failed to notice he was now the only one in the Facility Gym. He’d long surpassed all the other soldiers training and was now the only one remaining. He’d failed to notice that the sky outside was beginning to darken. He felt weak and tired. But he continued to train. Pausing only to swallow the last few drops of his water, he continued to hit the bag. Sweat ran down his face and neck, dripping down his back. His shirt was damp, and his legs were shaking underneath him, but he still carried on.

His thoughts drifted, and images of Titan flurried back into his new reality. It had all happened so fast. But they’d had a plan to remove the gauntlet. They almost had it, if Quill hadn’t had lost his mind…Thanos wouldn’t have been able to acquire the time stone.

_What the hell was he thinking? Quill knew what was at stake._

Tony pushed himself even harder. Anger rising, he hit the bag even harder. With each strike, the bag seemed harder as though he were hitting concrete.

_I almost had it. I almost had the fucking gauntlet._

He hit the bag again and again.

_I almost had it._

Vivid memories of Titan hit Tony, sending blinding pain through his head. He knew they were losing Thanos as Quill hit him again and again and the alien began to resurface. Mantis was losing control of him as the giant woke up and realised what was going on.

_If Quill hadn’t had lost control, Peter wouldn’t be lying unconscious in a fucking hospital bed._

The blinding pain was making his head spin. Vision becoming blurry, his arm failed to hit the bag. He kept trying. He had to keep training, it was the only way he wouldn’t take someone out from anger. Tony hadn’t noticed the man standing at the entrance to the training facility. The blinding pain made his head swim.

“Tony!” yelled the man.

Tony barely heard the voice as he felt himself fall. He braced himself as the ground rushed toward him. But the impact never came. Strong hands grabbed him, holding him in a lock. Reality hit him painfully in the chest and the room around him came to a spinning halt. Whoever had grabbed him had flipped him over, so he was laying on his back, still under the grip of the man.  

Blue eyes swam above him. “Tony are you alright?” said a voice much softer than he was expecting. He tried to wriggle out of Thor’s grip, but he was too strong.

“I’m fine.” Tony said. “Let go of me.”

He tried to sit up, but he was no match against Thor, who was pushing him back down.

“You need rest. You’re hurt.”

It was only now the throbbing pain from his hands set in. Tony tried not to wince in front of the Asgardian.

“You need to seek medical attention.”

Tony pushed him away. “I’m _fine._ Are you going to let me go or are you going to keep me captive here?”

Thor eyed him suspiciously. Sighing, he shook his head. “No of course not.”

Letting go of him, Thor gently took Tony under the shoulders and helped him back up standing.

“Take it easy, Stark. Your body can take only so much.”

It irritated him, to have Thor telling him what to do. “I’m not your fucking child.” He said sourly. He expected the Asgardian to react, but Thor said nothing and left the training room. Tony knew he should apologise. But he couldn’t bring himself too. Not right now. There was something else he needed to do, someone else he needed to have words with.

_Quill._

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

                                                                   

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Finding Peter Quill wasn’t difficult. Tony spent a couple of days searching through all the dive bars in downtown New York until he found one unturned. It was early morning when Tony found the figure slumped over a table. Sitting down opposite him, Tony pushed aside one of the many empty glasses that littered the tables surface.

“Well don’t you look just fucking dandy.” Tony said, giving the kid a shove. “Thoroughly replenished.”

Quill didn’t respond. His eyes remained closed, and he was unresponsive to Tony shaking him.

“Is he yours?” the barman asked.

“Doesn’t look like anyone else is coming for him.” Tony replied bitterly.

“He’s been here since early yesterday, kept saying something about a Gamora. You have any idea what a Gamora is?”

“I have some idea.” Tony said, eyeing Quill who was now drooling on the table. “Okay big guy, magic carpet ride.” Tony hauled him to his feet among grunts and groans. Once Quill was safely in the back seat of his car, Tony pulled out his phone.

“Tony?”

“Banner, we have a situation. I’m gonna need you over at the penthouse as quick as you can. Bring a med-kit and fluids with you” Tony added.

“Tony have you been drinking again?”

Looking into the back of the car at the unconscious man, Tony replied, “No. But I might be soon.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Tony you look like shit, let me take a look at you.” Bruce said as he walked out of the lift and onto the penthouse floor. “Jesus when was the last time you slept, or ate? And what happened to your hands-“

“You’re not here for me,” Tony said hastily hiding his bruised knuckles. Bruce raised a brow.

“Come with me.” Tony said, and the doctor followed him down the hall to the bathroom, where Quill had just vomited down his blood-stained shirt.

“Jesus fuck Tony, what did you do?”

“Just help me with him, will you?”

Stripping off his vomit-soaked clothes, they wrestled him into the shower and turned the water on full blast. Unfortunately for the two men, Quill had become semi-conscious, and Tony dodged a near swing to the face.

“Try again Quill.” Tony dryly, as they continued to hold Peter under the freezing water, his own shirt now sopping wet.

Quill yelled and shouted as he aimed more useless swings. “It’s fucking cold!” Quill screeched.

“It’s supposed to be you moron!” Tony yelled back, equally as loud.

“I think that’s enough water.” Bruce said hastily, who'd just received a hit square in the mouth, and they pulled the thrashing man out the shower.

"Well that was easy." Tony said dryly, eyeing the lake of water on the bathroom floor. 

Bruce, who was nursing a swollen lip, didn't answer but shot a sideways glare at Tony. 

If they thought getting Quill into the shower was hard, getting him into pajamas was even more difficult. Quill had lost consciousness again and changing a fully-grown man into clothes wasn’t the most delicate of tasks. Eventually both Tony and Bruce managed to get Quill into a t-shirt and track pants and into one of the spare rooms.

“Why did you go looking for him, Tony?” Bruce asked, inserting an IV into Quill’s arm.

Bruce was of course talking about the extensive injuries to Quill’s face. His lip was oozing blood and his left eye was black and puffy where someone had by the looks of it, massaged it thoroughly with their fists. Tony shuffled uncomfortably. Arms folded, he shifted his weight onto the door. “I know what it looks like.” Tony began, “but it wasn’t me. Someone already got to him by the time I got there.” Nodding, Bruce made a sound in his throat. Tony wasn’t sure if he was convinced or not.

Tony watched as Bruce quickly and silently cleaned Quill’s wounds and put a couple of stitches into his lip. “I can have him moved from here in twenty.” Bruce said finally, as he took of his gloves and scrunched them into a ball.

“No.” Tony said. “it’s fine, he can stay here.”

Bruce raised his brow above his thick rimmed glasses. “If you say so. He’ll need a bit of care. Once the fluids hit him, he should start to wake but he’ll need rest. Bring him over to me tomorrow and I’ll look over him properly.”

Tony nodded. “It’s fine, I can do it.”

Bruce stood up to leave and stopped short of Tony, a serious expression on his face.” I know all of his injuries and how bad they are, I will know if any more have been added.”

“And Tony?”

“Mhm?”

“Get some fucking sleep.”

 

But he didn’t go to sleep nor did he eat. He knew he should, but there were much more pressing matters now. Tony sat on the edge of the bed, kicking his feet up and crossing his legs. It had been a while since Tony had been occupied with something other than Peter. Pete, that was. It was sort of nice in a way, thinking about something else and not stressing over every tiny detail of Peter’s recovery. He had no idea what he was going to say to Quill when he woke up. Looking at him now, Tony couldn’t muster an ounce of anger. Perhaps the anger would return later, when Quill woke up.

Spoiler, it didn’t.

 

 

 

The day wore into the early hours of the afternoon before Quill woke. Tony was typing furiously into an iPad when the bed moved, indicating that Quill was waking. Throwing down the iPad, Tony retreated to the doorway. Quill opened his eyes and Tony stepped into the room, as though he hadn’t just been sitting there for the past four or so hours.

“You’re awake.” Tony said.

Quill drowsily glanced around him, his blue eyes grappling at his surroundings. Quill looked from Tony, who was still stood at the doorway, to outside the large floor to ceiling windows and beyond

Finally, Quill spoke. “I’m not dead then?”

He sounded disappointed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was the next morning when Quill made it out of bed. Bruce had already been by to check on him. It was just Tony and Peter in the large New York penthouse. Tony didn’t say anything when Quill joined him in the kitchen. He poured him a large coffee and handed him a stack of steaming toast as Quill struggled to climb onto one of the bar stools.

“Thanks,” he said, nursing his rib cage with his good hand.

Looking rather pale, Quill took a small sip of coffee. He put the mug back down and looked to Tony. “Why are you helping me?”

But Tony didn’t need to answer, Quill could read it all over Tony’s face. Nodding, Quill said. “You didn’t do it to help me. You think you blame me for Peter’s condition and that this entire fuckery is my fault.”

Quill drew out a long exhale. “It’s okay, I blame myself too. It is all my fault.”

It wasn’t until now that Tony realized yelling and screaming and beating the shit out of Quill would be pointless. No one hated Quill more than himself. Tony could guarantee that every single hateful thought he’d had about him, Quill had already thought it himself.

Tony wanted to comfort him, to help him but there wasn’t a lot he could do. Instead he pointed to Quills injuries “So who redecorated your face?”

“A few people had a go.” Quill replied solemnly. He pointed to his black eye. “This one is from when I told a dealer to shove some coke up his ass.” and this one,” he said, pointing to his swollen, puffy lip. “Was payment from a debt collector.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that.” Tony said.

Quill nodded. “I know.”

“Did getting beaten into a mashed juice make you feel any better?”

Quill considered him for a moment before answering. “I don’t feel anything anymore.”

“We should head over to the hospital, “Tony said. “Bruce wanted to check over you, leave in ten?”

“Sure.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tony purposely led Quill past the ICU to where Peter was. he wasn’t sure how Quill would react to seeing Peter. The two had barely met and knew hardly anything of each other and their lives. Yet it had become obvious that Quill had been blaming himself for quite some time now. The two men drove in silence through uptown to New York, to the Avengers facility.

“Wait.” Quill said, halting abruptly outside the ICU. “Is that?”

Tony could see him eyeing Peter.

“Yeah, that’s him. You want to go in and see him?”

Quill looked uncertain. “Uh I don’t know. I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“Oh, that’s okay, Peter isn’t very chatty at the moment anyway.” Tony said with a small smile. But Quill didn’t appear to have heard him. He stood at the doorway of the ICU, as though afraid to move any closer to Peter. He hadn’t spoken in several minutes and his face had gone nasty shade of white, under all his injuries. Even his bruises had lost their purple tinge and now sat an alarming shade of green.

“You can move closer you know, Peter won’t bite.” Tony said from his armchair by the kid. Quill slowly took a few steps forward but made sure to keep his distance.

“He looks so…small.” Quill eventually said, his eyes fixed on the kid. His face seemed to transform from horrified, to angry and then sadness. It only dawned on Tony the gravity of the situation, he’d had weeks to get used to Peters condition. He’d spend countless nights and days with Peter. Whereas Quill…he wasn’t used to the fragile figure that lay asleep in the bed, covered in tubes and attached to various machines. But this was Quill’s first time with him.

“I just wish I could do _something._ I just want to make it right. _”_

“It’s okay Quill.” Tony said. “This isn’t your fault.”

Whatever Tony expected Quill to say, it certainly wasn’t what he said next.

“He felt it didn’t he.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Quill’s gaze was transfixed on the kid, his eyes glassy. Tony felt his blood run cold as he of course knew what Quill was referring to.

“What did you just say?” Tony asked, his palms slick with sweat and his breathing hastening.

Quill looked from Peter to Tony. “Peter knew that he was going to die. Most people…including me, we had no idea what was going on. We didn’t feel anything. But Peter Parker knew he was going to die, he felt it. He felt his own death.”

Tony felt faint as he remembered too well, that day on Titan when Peter had clung to his arms, telling him he didn’t want to die.

“How did you know-“

“Mantis felt it too. She could feel it happening, but she couldn’t stop it from happening. But she woke up and Peter didn’t, and I’ve felt terrible ever since.” Quill appeared to be crying, but Tony couldn’t think about that right now.

_Of course._

_Mantis._

“Quill.” Tony said suddenly. “Can you find her?”

Sobbing, Quill looked up. “W-what?”

“This is important, I need you to focus.” Tony stood up and went over to the shaking man. “Can you find Mantis?”

Quill looked around for a moment before answering. “Y-yeah, why?”

“I think she might be able to help Peter.” Tony said, barely unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. “You said she could feel it too- “

“Yeah but I don’t see how that will help.”

 “You need to find her, right now and bring her to New York. You said you wanted to make amends this is it.” Tony said, taking Quill by the shoulders. “This is how you make amends. Not to me or Peter, but to yourself.”

 

 

* * *

 

Everyone had gathered. Bruce was unhappy about the amount of people in the ICU, but everyone wanted to see the strange alien girl with the weird boy who had been in a coma for weeks. Bringing Mantis into the Avengers facility had been a top-secret operation, so naturally everybody knew.

Doctors stood poised with clipboards, waiting in anticipation. And if Bruce were to admit it, he was rather curious as well. An intern watched excitedly as the strange looking alien stood with by Peter. She turned to face the audience. “Please stand back.” She addressed everyone, in a high-pitched voice. Bruce and Tony ushered everyone back a few paces. Steve and Nat had both taken places at the back of the room, equally as curious as the everyone else.

Tony felt a horrible lurching sensation in his stomach. He couldn’t tell if it was nerves, or the fact he hadn’t eaten in several days now. He knew he’d been neglecting to take care of himself, and others were starting to pick up on it too, but now was no time to think about that. Peter could be waking up soon, Tony just had to hold onto that thought. Mantis moved closer to Tony and Bruce. “I do not know what I can do for him,” she said in a hushed tone. “Please do not be too disappointed if I cannot help him.”

 “Just try.” Tony said in a failed attempt at an encouraging smile. Mantis nodded and took in a deep breath, moving closer to Peter. Several of the doctors and nurses took a step forward, standing on tiptoes. Mantis sat close to him and placed both her hands on his head. Her large bug eyes fell closed, and the room went silent. Her eyes remained closed only for a few seconds before they flew open. Breathing heavily, she removed her hands from his face. Mantis seemed reluctant to speak, she just looked at the crowd of people crammed into the ICU.

Bruce understood, and stood up immediately. “Uh can we have the room please, essential personnel only.” There were disappointed looks, but everyone shuffled out of the room leaving only Quill, Tony, Bruce and Mantis. And of course, Peter.

“Well?” Tony asked, unable to hold any sort of patience. “What did you see? What’s wrong with him?”

“He is scared,” Mantis began. “He wants to come home. But I could not reach him, I cannot see past his defenses.”

Tony’s gaze fell from Bruce to Quill, who looked as though he’d just swallowed a bucket full of ice.

“What do we do now?”

“I do not know, but if he does not wake soon, he will be gone forever.”

Mantis had a horrible way of making an already demanding situation sound impossible. But Tony knew that he couldn’t give up now. Peter was still in there, but he was trapped. Trapped by his own mind. Bruce put a hand on Tony’s shoulder in at effort to comfort him, but it only made him felt worse. A hand on his shoulder indicated that Bruce knew how bad the situation was, but he had no clue how to fix it.

Everything was swimming. Tony was lost in a thick fog, as though he wore a veil around him and he couldn’t get out. Thick bile burned the back of his throat and he couldn’t breathe. He was scared.  

“Tony. Tony? Are you okay?”

But Tony didn’t reply.

He was falling, down, down, down. The floor rushed up to meet him and the world sank into darkness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Epilogue 

The quiet silence was deafening. It hurt so fucking badly but there was nothing he could do about it. And it was cold, it was so cold. He questioned thought he was dead, but death wasn’t supposed to be painful. Death was supposed to be peace. But this, this wasn’t peaceful.

At first, Peter was alone. But then other people started to arrive as well. Some of the faces were familiar. The strange wizard, Peter Quill, Wanda, and the King of Wakanda.

And holy shit, Bucky Barnes was here.

_Cool!_

But where was Tony? Peter wandered about the hundreds of thousands of faces, most of them he didn’t know.

“Tony?” Peter called. “Tony.” But no sound left his mouth. It was too difficult to find him, there were too many people, too many faces. And Peter was scared. He tried to talk to everyone, but they could neither see nor hear him. He’d never felt so alone surrounded by so many people.

But then something strange was happening, Peter could feel it. It became easier to walk among the people, there were less of them now. There were only a few people left now, one by one they left just as silently as they had arrived.

And then it was just him. Rubbing his chest and arms, he tried to keep warm. But his whole body was cold, and it ached. every intake of breath hurt, and swallowing had become painful as though something thick had become stuck in his throat.

Peter had become lost in a sea of blurred fog. There was no one else, just himself and his thoughts. Until he heard it. It was quiet at first, as though something was calling him.

“Peter Parker.”

It was his name. The voice belonged to a female. Peter tried to walk around to find the source of the voice, but he couldn’t see anything or anyone.

“Peter Parker.”

There it was again. It was becoming stronger. She was strange to look at. She had large bug eyes and something that looked remarkably like antenna.

“Who are you?” he tried to say, but the words came out jumbled as though he were trying to speak through water. But the creature smiled at him, she seemed to understand perfectly what he was trying to say.

“Do not be afraid, Peter Parker.”

She held out her hand, but Peter stepped back.

“I am here to help you Peter,” she said. “Come back with me.”

_How? How do I do that? I want to come home._

He tried to speak, he really tried. But only silence issued from his mouth. He wanted to tell her that he was afraid, that he wanted to come home. The smile quietly disappeared from her face as she stopped trying to talk to him. The alien could see he was struggling.

“I am sorry,” was all she said. Was she going to leave?

_Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me here by myself._

_I want to come home._

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

                                                                

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A white light sent a dull ache into the back of his head from which Tony tried to shield his eyes but his arms were too heavy. He found he couldn’t move them at all, no matter how hard he tried. Tony blinked, and he came to the realization he was alone in a room. Something uncomfortable was pinching in his arm. He looked down to see an IV running into his left hand. Tracing a finger slowly across his face, he felt a tube under his nose, gently trickling oxygen into his lungs. It was strange, as he had no recollection of how he got here. It was like trying to remember a dream he’d just woken from; the more he tried to remember, the quicker it faded from his mind.

“Good, you’re awake.” Bruce walked into the room, his thick rimmed glasses placed at the end of his nose, his sleeves rolled past his elbows. “I was hoping you’d be up soon.”

“What happened?” Tony asked without hesitation. 

Bruce sat on the edge of his bed, eyes scanning a clipboard. “You passed out, you uh hit your head on the way down.”

Tony wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but Bruce didn’t seem to be able to meet his eye.

“CT scan came back fine, but you’ve got a mild concussion. You’re probably going to feel a bit lousy for the next couple of weeks. Nausea, dizziness, vomiting is all normal.”

_I’m feeling fucking nauseous now._

“You should fully recover.” Bruce said, hie eye still on the clipboard. 

“Then why do you look like someone’s just died?” Tony said quipped bitterly. Bruce still hadn’t looked at him, and it bothered Tony more than it probably should.

“Normal healthy men don’t just pass out Tony.” Bruce said in a deep voice. “I’m worried about you. You’re very dehydrated, you haven’t been eating. And by the looks of it you haven’t slept in quite a while.”

“I’ve slept.” Tony shot back.

Bruce gave him a warning look. “More than four hours in a night?”

Tony didn’t respond.

“Yeah that’s what I thought.” Bruce said, placing the clipboard back down. “So, for you we have total bedrest, no wandering about, no making a nuisance of yourself alright?”

It irked Tony, as though he were a child being scolded by a parent. He knew Bruce only meant well, heck he was only doing his job. But the coldness in his voice bothered Tony.

“How’s the kid?”

“Peter?” Bruce shifted uncomfortably. “He’s out of my jurisdiction now.”

“Out of your juris-what?”

“Tony, his transfer has been approved. He’s being moved there now. He’s been stable for a few days, and after what Mantis said. Well they’re better equipped to handle him, their technology…” Bruce’s voice trailed off into silence which was only replaced by the incessant beeping off the heart monitor attached to Tony’s chest.

“Moved him?” Tony said, struggling to keep his voice quiet. “You had no right to do that, no right!”

“Tony,” Bruce began. “You’re not his parent, or guardian. His rightful guardian, May is with him. She already approved his transfer.”

Tony ripped the oxygen tube away from his face and the IV line out of his and flung back the blankets. “I have to get to him.” Tony said blindly as no sooner had he stood up, a pounding pain in his head sent dizzying waves through him. Losing his balance, he stumbled.

“Woah easy big guy, I’ve got you.” Bruce said as he nimbly caught Tony, helping to steady him. Tony leant an arm on the bed, his legs shaking and his head throbbing painfully. The floor underneath him slipped out from underneath him.

“I have to get to Peter.” Tony said weakly, closing his eyes in an attempt to stop everything from spinning so violently.

“Tony, you’re not going anywhere. You need _rest._ It’s not up for debate.” Bruce tried to help him back into bed, but Tony held up a hand. His mouth filling with acidic saliva, he knew what was coming. Rushing into the bathroom, he dropped to his knees and was violently sick. His head ached and his whole body shook as he wretched over and over until there was nothing but water spewing into the toilet. Throat burning, Tony lay down onto the cool tiles, which were a welcome relief on his burning face.  Some of the pain had subsided as he let out heavy breaths. Bruce was right beside him.  

“You know you can’t carry on like this, don’t you?” Bruce said as he ran a hand over Tony’s wrist, checking his pulse.

Tony nodded weakly. “Yeah. I know.”

 

 

 

W A K A N D A

 

If asked, anyone else from the outside world would have described Wakanda as a third world country, struggling to grapple on to twenty first century life wrought with disease and poverty. But its brilliant reality boasted a thriving metropolis. Rural life was brilliantly combined with modern technology. Nutrient dense fields surrounded the periphery of a skyline starred with sleek high-rise buildings.  

Wakanda was home to Vibranium, a rich substance that made it the strongest metal known to man. The very substance that perhaps was the country’s greatest secret. Though the city was recovering from Thanos’ attack, the city was awry with talk of a boy that was being secretly housed.

Peter Parker.

Peter had become something of a celebrity in Wakanda, a sort of symbol of peace to the city. Though much of the residents helped with the rebuild of damaged buildings, roads and infrastructures, Shuri spent most of her time locked away in her lab, where Peter slept. This morning was nothing out of the ordinary for the Princess of Wakanda. Already on her fourth cup of coffee for the morning, Shuri sat hunched over in her seat, eyes scanning monitors and screens. Unsure of what she was looking for, she continued to eye the screen in front of her through sips of coffee. A constant beeping told her that Peter was stable, and she didn’t need to worry for now. There had been one episode in the week that he had been here, where he’d had a seizure and flatlined. But three days had passed without incident.

“Come on Peter,” Shuri urged under her breath. So far, she had been unable to find anything that would be able bring Peter out of the coma. She had hoped for more, particularly since Bruce Banner was visiting today.

On Peter’s arrival, he’d informed Shuri that he would check in once a week to offer any assistance he could and see any progress. Not wanting to disappoint him, Shuri wanted to give the Doctor some good news, something concrete.

“Shuri, the doctor is on his way down to you now,” Okoye said through the comm.

“Oh _shit!”_ Shuri yelped, still in the same clothes she’d been in for the past couple of days. Rushing to a bathroom, she attempted to tackle her hair and make it look as though she’d gotten _some_ sleep since Bruce had last seen her. But she had no time for such luxuries.

A hissing of the lab door opening told Shuri he was already here.

“Doctor Banner!” Shuri said, forcing herself to feign optimism.

“Shuri.”

“Please take a seat.” Shuri offered. “I hope you had a good flight in.”

Bruce nodded. “Mmn fine thanks. But I don’t think you asked me here to talk about travel.”

“Yes of course.” Shuri said, quickly turning to her lab report. Taking a large breath to gather her thoughts, she began her discussion.

 

 

 

 

 

Bruce had not yet spoken with Tony about his trip to Wakanda. Not that there had been much to discuss yet. He’d sat with Shuri, went over polite pleasantries and talked about Peter’s recovery plan. Feeling positive about the trip, Bruce flew back to New York the following day. Though nothing concrete had yet been put in place, Bruce was still sure that Peter’s current location was of benefit. He’d left over the impression that his visits would be a regular occurrence, perhaps once every week. It meant he could leave Shuri to it and keep a distant eye on Tony. Bruce was not oblivious to Tony’s self-inflicting harm.

On his return to New York, Bruce returned to his normal duties and discharged Tony on the condition that he had to sleep at least five hours a night and be eating three meals a day. Bruce had threatened to restrain and have Tony be tube fed if he didn’t comply. Knowing full well it was by no means an empty threat, Tony obliged. But Peter’s absence seemed to make the normally easy and mundane tasks such as sleeping and eating difficult.

Tony had been prescribed sleeping and anti-anxiety medication, but so far Tony had yet to take any. He stood in the bathroom. He’d been staring at the pill bottle for so long his eyes had gone out of focus and everything was blurry. Popping open the lid he swallowed one of the tiny pills.

“How are you feeling?” Pepper asked, as she climbed into bed, next to Tony.

He nodded. “Fine. I took a sleeping pill. “

“Good for you!” Pepper said, giving him a heavy kiss on the forehead. “Here’s hoping you finally get some sleep.”

Within five minutes, Tony had been pulled into a heavy sleep. But it didn’t last for long. He woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, his mind foggy and unclear.

This wouldn’t do. He couldn’t go around like this. His mouth dry, he staggered to the bathroom, feeling around for the tap. He let the cool water run and splashed it all over his face. Still feeling heavy with sleep, he lunged for the pill bottle and emptied its contents down the sink.

“That’s enough of you,” he said quietly, before returning to bed. Checking the clock, he saw he’d slept for four hours. Still, it was better than nothing. Too tired to move or get out of bed again, he reached for his phone and at Bruce’s suggestion, YouTubed funny cat videos. Unsure of its purpose, he watched until the early hours of the morning and the sun had begun to rise.

Bruce checked in every few days to make sure he was eating and taking the medication. Unfortunately, Bruce figured out very quickly that Tony had been disposing of the meds, which prompted Bruce to up the dosage and frequency.

“Just take them Tony, it can take up to six weeks for them to have full effect. I know it’s not your strong suit, but you just must be patient. If you won’t do it for anyone else, do it for Peter. He needs your strength right now.” Tony wasn’t sure how Peter ‘needed his strength’, but he didn’t argue.

Tony took the pills. At first, they made him feel sick and even more anxious than he was previously. It became a regular occurrence for him to wake in the middle of the night, chest tight and struggling for breath. Matters weren’t helped when Tony was still feeling the after effects of his concussion. Though the vomiting had become less frequent, Tony suffered from dizzy spells and headaches which would usually strike in the evenings when he was tired.

A week had passed and there had been little change. Though the latest set of scans told Tony there wasn’t any lasting damage from his fall which wasn’t of much consolation. Pepper did the very best she could. But Tony would burst out from anger and frustration, to which he knew she did not deserve.

 

A watery winters sunlight was streaming in through the open plan living area. Tony was wrapped in a blanket surrounded with food, a large jug of water and a bottle of pills, which Tony had just set down on the table.

“I’m heading out for a bit.” Pepper said, bag in hand. “But don’t worry, you won’t be alone.”

Tony tensed in apprehension. “Who?”

 “You’re about to find out.” She said as the buzzer rang. Pepper disappeared returned with a grin on her face as Steve walked in, wrapped in a thick coat.

“Morning Tony,” said Steve.

“Have fun you two!” Pepper said rather enthusiastically before leaving.

Steve sat his large frame into one of Pepper’s carefully chosen armchairs, his torso barely fitting into the seat. Clearing his throat, his gaze met Tony’s.

“So, you’re here to babysit me? Well that’s just a fucking treat.”

“Not _babysit._ I’m just here to sit with you, doctors’ orders.”

“Banner.” Tony said, as a flicker of annoyance spiraled up his spine. So, they’d been talking about him behind his back huh?

Wrinkling around in his seat, Steve nodded at Tony. “I would ask how you are, but you look like fucking shit.”

Tony let out a breathy laugh. Trust Steve to be frank. Though it was something that Tony had always appreciated about the Captain. Steve had never been one to tiptoe around Tony’s feelings, something that everyone else deemed to be necessary.

“Thanks, Cap.” Tony replied.

Steve leaned over to the table and picked up the pill bottle. “How long you been on these?”

“I’m not _on_ them.”

“How long?” Steve repeated.

“Two weeks.”

“They put you on the heavy stuff huh? Still getting the headaches?”

Tony felt a flush of irritation. “How’d you...if Bruce told you- “

“Relax, Stark.” Steve said. “Bruce didn’t have to tell me anything. I got put on this shit when I was de-iced. Thought I might be depressed or whatever. Made me hurl like no tomorrow the first week, couldn’t eat a damn thing.”

Tony hadn’t expected this. Steve had never really talked about when he first awoke. “I didn’t know” he said.

“No one knew. Except Banner and a couple of the med staff. Told them I’d chuck them into space if it got out.”

“Fair enough.” Tony said. “And yeah, headaches are still there. Haven’t been able to eat much either.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah its disgusting stuff. But honestly after a few weeks it starts working and you really do begin to feel better.”

Though he didn’t say it, it felt as though someone had just placed a warm blanket over him. It was the first thing someone had told Tony that had provided him with any comfort.

“They give you any lorazepam?” Steve asked.

“No, what’s that?”

“Its best for the first few weeks of taking the Sertraline. For when you start panicking and you feel like you can’t breathe and you’re about the pass out. Helps take the edge off without making you feel like a zombie. Ask for some next time you go in.”

“what was it like?” tony asked before he could stop himself. He wasn’t sure why he asked, nor whether it was appropriate. But Steve seemed neither annoyed nor shocked.

“It was nothing, to be honest. I didn’t really feel anything. I mean I was frozen. I was neither dead nor alive. It was all just to save brain function. I didn’t have any thoughts. One minute I was in the second world war. The next minute I was in the next millennium. There were iPhones and color tv, vaccinations for polio…damn there was proper anesthetic.”

Tony listened to Steve with great intent. He’d never really considered what it had been like to wake up one day, and have everyone you’d ever loved dead, or dying. It was a depressing thought. It was the first time Tony had really thought about what Steve had gone through, a longing for a time once past.

Considering him momentarily, Tony moved his head to one side. Steve had always seemed so confident, so certain of every move he made. It suddenly dawned on Tony that perhaps Steve wasn’t so sure. Perhaps he wasn’t so sure of every move he made, every decision and every action he took. This was somewhat of a comfort to Tony. Perhaps he didn’t have to have it together every second of every day.

Perhaps he was allowed small moments to fall apart. These thoughts lingered on Tony’s mind long after Steve had gone.

Tony lay awake in bed, his breathing stable and his pulse steady with the help of the Sertraline. He had hope that Steve was right. The medication would help.

He just had to hold onto that thought.


	6. Chapter 6

                                                                                                        

      

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Bruce showed up every week like clockwork for an in-depth report on how Peter was doing. Not that there had been a lot to report on. And this week was no exception.  

“Welcome back, I trust you’re finding everything here to be satisfactory.” Shuri said, as she rushed to greet the Doctor in the elegant lobby of the laboratory.

“I’ve told you a million times, you can call me Bruce,” he replied shaking her hand. “And the hospitality here is amazing as always, thank you.”

Shuri smiled as she nodded curtly, as she turned to walk toward the elevator that would swiftly take them to the lab. It was just as magnificent as Bruce had remembered. All the tech, everything was at least fifty years advanced in comparison to the rest of the world. To Shuri of course, it was just normal.

“Oh, that’s new.” Bruce said, pointing to the newly installed glass that overlooked the buildings internal energy system.

“Yes, the rebuild here is in full swing.” Shuri said, though her voice sounded a little less enthusiastic than it normally would, but Bruce didn’t seem to notice.  “We have just had our systems retrofitted and most of the reconstruction has been completed.

Bruce nodded, impressed. There were still sectors from New York that still hadn’t been finished.

“Take a seat doctor,” Shuri said, handing Bruce a tablet forecasting different projections. She herself sat down on the sleek leather sofa. One leg neatly crossed behind the other, she opened her own tablet and cleared her throat. But no words came out. Her gaze fell to her tablet, all the projections were there. All the information about Peter was right in front of her. But there was nothing else she could tell him. The truth was, there had been no improvement. Peter was dying and there was nothing she could do about it.

Sensing the girl’s hesitation, Bruce slipped off his glasses and held them in his hands. “It’s okay,” he said. “I know.”

Taken aback, Shuri blinked. “Sorry, what?”

Bruce gave Shuri a reassuring look. “It’s okay. I know. You’re unsure of what to tell me because you’re unsure of what to do next.”

Heart racing, Shuri looked down at her lap, guilt billowing inside her.

Bruce continued. “You’ve tried everything you could think of but you’re running out of options.”

“I’ve failed you.” Shuri said without looking up.  “I’ve failed everyone.”

Bruce moved closer to her, taking her by the shoulder. “You haven’t let anyone down; Peter’s case is incredibly complicated. What worked for Barnes wasn’t likely to work for Peter. We just had to try it, there’s still some avenues we haven’t explored yet…”

Bruce’s voice trailed off, and he let go of Shuri, who met his gaze. They both knew it, they were running out of time and they were out of options.

Usually, Bruce would take off back to New York after their meetings, but he stayed around a little while longer this time. He could sense her guilt, yet he wasn’t angry or upset with her. Bruce knew exactly how Shuri felt. The same guilt had been wracking inside him for months now, eating away at him.

“I think, Doctor Banner, we need to start thinking about having that conversation. Which each seizure he has he loses more brain function. He will lose the ability to breathe on his own and will need to be put on life support.” Shuri gazed at the floor, her hands in her lap.

Bruce nodded, taking it in. “I had a feeling this was coming. How long?”

Shuri bit her lip, her hands shaking slightly. Eventually she brought her gaze back up to Bruce. “I would get May here as soon as possible. She will need to consent to Peter being put onto life support.”

 “Has it really come to that?” Bruce asked, but he already knew the answer.

Shuri placed hand on his arm. “It’s your call, Doctor. But we are running out of time.”

“Okay, well I’ll make that arrangement. In the meantime, let’s just continue going through his charts, is that okay with you?”

Shuri nodded, her gaze returning to the tablet.

“Okay good. Well how’s his vitals.”

“Stable for the most part. Temperature is a little low but still in nominal ranges. Blood pressure and heart rate are good.” Shuri said, some of the confidence returning to her voice.

“Seizures?”

At that, Shuri faltered. “Nine in the past week.”

Bruce nodded, the weight of the situation sinking in like a thick fog. “Okay, well let’s continue.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A heavy spring rain had set itself over the boroughs of New York City as a reminder that cold weather was still imminent. By 6am on a Monday morning, the rain had still not let up. As rain lashed against the penthouse windows, Tony was stirring his second cup of tea. The glow of city lights was just beginning to be replaced by a grey daylight.

With a doctor’s appointment at ten, Tony let himself enjoy some morning peace. He sat himself down on his favorite couch, making sure to turn the TV onto the news. The current clip was showing a misfortunate weatherman being blown around in the gales and rain, which seemed to be sweeping up and down the country. Bringing his mug to his lips, Tony tried to reason with himself.Something that Tony had dismissed at the time. Yet now that he had time to sit and contemplate quite literally everything, his mind now wandered to one thing in particular.

The civil war.

Though of course there had been no deaths; that was not its intention, but injury had been caused on both sides. Nothing too serious, just a few bruises and maybe one or two broken bones.  The most significant to Tony had of course been Peter. It had been the Spiderman’s first chance to fight with the Avengers, half of them at least. It had been Tony who had put him there. At the time, Tony had thought it a good idea. The kid was small, agile and fast. Just the thing Tony had needed in his fight against Steve. Peter had just been good press.  

Yet, it had struck something inside him when he had seen the kid on the ground, still and unconscious. At first Tony hadn't been unable to understand what it was feeling. Yet it quickly transpired that he _cared_ for Peter. Beyond business and good press, Peter meant something to Tony. Through Tony’s sarcasm and cynicism, it had proven too difficult to distance himself from the kid. He had gotten attached. Something Tony had worked on tirelessly for years, to not get attached. Yet here he was. _Caring._

Tony’s phone beeped, pulling him back to reality.

> _You ready yet? Steve._

It was from Steve.

> _Just about. Be down in a minute._

It was a complete lie. Tony jumped up, half dressed and ran to his closet, pulling on jeans, shoes and a long sleeve shirt. On second thought, listening to the rain barreling down on the windows, he doubled back to the closet picked up a parka jacket. Walking back through the living area, Tony neglected to notice the bottle of pills, still unopened on the coffee table.

Steve was waiting for him in a cab, which Tony joined him in.

“Nice cap, Cap.” Tony remarked, nodding toward the navy-blue baseball cap Steve was wearing.

Steve nodded, unaware Tony was being smart. “Thanks.”

Tony smiled to himself. As usual, Steve had missed his wit. They rode the rest of the way in silence. With nothing to distract himself, Tony found the city quickly became a blur, and his mind slipped into subconsciousness.

“Tony, you ready?”

Tony became aware that the cab had stopped. Steve was looking at him expectantly. They were parked up in the neat gravel drive of the Avengers facility.

“Yeah sure.” Tony replied, stepping out into the rain, which quickly soaked his jacket.

The two men hurried inside into the main lobby which overlooked the grounds. A man in a suit and earpiece let them in, and ushered them to the West wing, the main medical unit.

Stepping into the lift, Tony leaned against the wall breathing heavily. His hands finding the cool of the metal walls, fingers drumming rapidly.

“You okay?” Steve asked, taking off his drenched cap and wiping the water off his glasses.

“Yeah, fine.” Tony said, as a nauseating wave crashed over him. The ascending of the lift sending him off balance.

“You don’t look fine. Are you worried about your appointment?”

“Nah Cap, I’m fine honestly.”

The lift came to a grinding halt and Tony faltered as he stepped onto the floor of the medical wing.

“Tony!” Steve quickly grabbed him and held him steady. “Let’s get you somewhere to sit, I’ll go find Banner.”

“Rogers, I’m _fine.”_ Tony insisted, pulling himself out of Steve’s grasp. All the same, Steve pulled up a chair.

“I’m going to find Banner,” Steve repeated, helping Tony to be seated.

The stark white walls and smell of antiseptic and cleaner making him feel more nauseated, he leaned forward and placed his head in his hands.

“Pull yourself together man.” Tony said under his breath, gripping his forehead tightly. “Come on. Pull it together.”

“Tony?”

“Mmm-yeah?” Tony replied, without lifting his head. “Be with you in a sec doc.”

“You okay buddy?”

Hands, gentler than he was expecting reached around Tony’s wrists, pulling his hands downward so that his face was in full view of Bruce.

“Hey, there you are. C’mon let’s get you up.”

Tony didn’t try to protest. Bruce and Steve took an arm each, taking the brunt of Tony’s weight. He could hear the two of them talking, but their words became lost through a sea of fog. Something about a medication bottle. Pills or something.

Slowly they made their way down the corridor to Bruce’s examination room, where Steve easily lifted Tony onto the exam table, taking care to gently lay him back.

“You want me to stay Tony?” Steve asked, as he tapped Tony on the shoulder.

“Uh huh.” Was all Tony could manage. Steve looked to Bruce, who nodded and shut the door.

Bruce offered Steve a chair, and took his own seat on a stool, and brought it closer to Tony.

“How’s the headaches?” Bruce asks, peering into Tony’s eyes with a penlight.

“They’re there.” Tony replied dully.

“And the nausea, dizziness? Steve mentioned just before you weren’t feeling too good?”

Tony glared at Steve, who had suddenly found great with picking dust of his trousers.

“I just felt dizzy in the lift, I’m fine now though.” Tony said quickly, unable to quite meet Bruce in the eye.

“Can you just lean forward for me for a moment?” Bruce asked. “Just going to listen to your chest okay.”

Along with another nauseating wave as he leaned forward, Tony tried not to flinch as the cold stethoscope touched his back.

“Deep breath in for me.”

Closing his eyes to ignore the spinning, Tony inhaled deeply.

“And again.”

Tony clenched his fists, willing his hands to stop trembling.

“Okay well that all sounds good.” Bruce said, placing the stethoscope back around his neck.

“What a relief.” Tony said dryly.

“How’ve you been feeling the past week or so?” Bruce asked, pulling out the blood pressure cuff and placing it around Tony’s arm.” Any other symptoms I should know about?

“Nope.” Tony said, ignoring his shaking hands. “Nothing.”

Bruce turned to Steve, who became aware the attention had turned onto him. Though Bruce’s face was obscured, Tony picked up that he must have given Steve a look, because the Captain stood up suddenly and headed towards the door, muttering something about coffee.

Bruce turned back to Tony once they were alone. “Tony. Show me your hands.”

Insides turning to ice, Tony’s heart skipped loudly in his chest, his palms growing sweaty.

“W-why?”

Arms folded, Bruce shifted his weight in his chair. “Give me your hands.”

Chewing hard on his lip. Tony reluctantly held out his hands, trembling for the world to see. Bruce adjusted his glasses, moving an inch closer.

“You haven’t been taking the medication have you.” It wasn’t a question.

“No. No I haven’t.” Tony said, his voice threatening to break.

“Why Tony?” Bruce pulled his glasses further up his nose.

“Eh, just didn’t like them.” Tony shrugged.

“Didn’t like them? Tony you didn’t even give them a chance. You need to give it at least- “

“-at least six weeks I know. Your parrot getting coffee already told me. Told me all about having to wait till it gets better and all that other bullshit. Told me they put him on that crap after he was de-iced.”

Bruce shook his head. “And you didn’t think to talk to me about this? You just thought you’d stop taking them?”

Tony looked at the doctor thoughtfully before answering, his voice steadier than before. “Why didn’t you tell me about your trips to Wakanda?”

It was Bruce this time who seemed lost for words, as some of the color left his face.

“How did you know about that?” Bruce asked, scrubbing his chin with his hand.

 “I sometimes think you forget I’m Tony Stark.”

Bruce nodded accepting defeat. “I know. I should have told you. I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to make it more difficult for you. I know how hard it must be not being able to see him.”

Bruce gave him an apologetic look, as though he was expecting Tony to be angry with him.

“So, I take it there’s been no breakthrough then.”

“No.” Bruce said, bringing his hands together in his lap. “He’s still seizing. He’s still losing brain function. though it's unclear as to the extent.”

Bruce had to pause and collect himself before he spoke the next words. “We’re not sure he can hold on much longer. If he does wake, his quality of life will be…compromised.”

Laying back, Tony let the soft pillow behind him take his weight so that he was staring up at the ceiling. He didn’t have anything else to say. Surely this wasn’t it? Surely this couldn’t be the end? There had to be something, something they were missing.

At that moment, Steve walked in holding a tray of steaming cups. “Whose up for coffee then?”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

May sat in the chair, her foot tapping in a constant rhythm on the floor. Her arms were tightly folded as though it was going to loosen the knot in the pit of her stomach. She tried to breathe normally but putting constant attention on inhaling and exhaling was making her feel lightheaded.

“May,” Bruce was standing just short of her, a tablet sitting in the crest of his arm. “If you want to come with me.”

May stood up immediately in an automatic function. The feeling in her legs had almost gone, and her hands were shaking. Bruce took note of this as he put a comforting arm around her. They walked through the upper floor of the Wakandan medical precinct. May was oblivious to the large fountain they passed, her mind unable to take in any of the wondrous sites Wakanda had to offer.

May felt the blood drain from her face as she spotted Peter laying in the bed, which was beeping all sorts of information. Her hand found his which she grasped tightly, as her weight sank into the chair Bruce had placed by her side. He was so pale. So small. May could barely recognize him.

May noticed another girl sitting with Peter, her hair pulled back into thick braids. She barely looked above the age of fifteen. When May looked at her, the girl smiled.She stood before she spoke. “Hello, I am Shuri. I am the sister of King T’Challa. I have been monitoring Peter for many weeks now.”

May was unsure what to say. She returned Shuri’s smile and nodded. She wished she could say more, to thank the girl for all she had done, but Shuri seemed to understand.

 “We’ve brought you here to discuss Peter’s condition.” Bruce said, taking May’s trembling hands into his own.

“You need to be fully briefed on all the options. Do you understand?”

May nodded.

Bruce looked to Shuri, then back to May. “Peter had another seizure this morning. See the tube sticking out of his mouth, he has become unable to breathe on his own. If we take the tube out, he won’t be able to breathe on his own. Do you understand that.”

A tear dripped down her face, but May nodded again.

“It is very unlikely that Peter will wake, and if he does wake it is likely he won’t be able to breathe on his own. Due to the seizure’s Peter has lost some brain function so it is likely he won’t be able to walk or even speak on his own.”

Bruce faltered in his words. He didn’t want to say what had to come next. He gripped her hands tighter and braced himself.

“May, you need to make a decision. Do you want us to keep the breathing tube in or do you want us to take it out?”

 

 

 

 


End file.
